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((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Tuesday
March 4th, 2008]
everything  is consistent calamity.

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Monday
December 24th, 2007]
 i hope that i never fall off the face of this earth. even in 7 billion years when we explde, i want to be still buried and flying around in a mile stretch of earth which was hurled into space.

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Friday
December 21st, 2007]
i enjoy drinking a glass of alcohol to  the barenaked ladies. 
why not?

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Monday
December 10th, 2007]
i remember when you found out that you could change the names to the songs on the CD's you were always making me, and they would scroll across my CD player.
then you started to put titles like "i love ashley", or  "i really do". 
that was sweet. and those song titles are still in my itunes.

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Friday
December 7th, 2007]

the more and more i look at it, the more and more i realize i am absolutely clinically insane. 
and my looks are very very decieving.

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Monday
December 3rd, 2007]
it's times like these when i am inspired to do art. 

(1) (!^*%#^!&@!)

[Monday
December 3rd, 2007]
today was my first day werrrkinggg at the GAP in manhattan.
I don't know why i thought it would be slow. 
I mean, it's really really fast paced. as the manager warned, "everybody wants things done yesterday in new york city."
it's true. and much better than the GAP back home. 
quick is good. making the time go by fast is really good. 
i hated working the other gap. it was slow and boring. 
i may end up not coming home, if this job works out, and they give me a lot of hours and things.
it's just a thought i've been having. i even have a possible someone i can live with. 
because coming home would just mean having to get a new job, and start over, then come back and get another job!
wow. that's a lot of moving around. 
plus home is only for going to be for a month or so.
i think a pro/con list is in order for this.
i need to go make one. 
oh, and today was the final day of classes. so finals are starting. 
and i havent gone to class in a week. so i probably won't study. i just sold a book. for money.
which i am going to spend wisely. cause thats what working girls need to do. 
esp. one with an apartment in her future. 
and it's been said, & apparently is a fact: "you don't LIVE in New York City. You survive."
(why do i space so often in my entries? i space like after every sentance.)
i am a new mommy to a hermit crab i rescued as well. he was our neighbors. but they didnt take care of him. so i am. i feel so bad for him!

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Sunday
December 2nd, 2007]
i am fucking  insane and noone should even have to deal with me.
i've decided on multiple occasions that my most compatible friend would be a cup of ice.
that pays rent.

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Saturday
December 1st, 2007]
 last night we partied at NYU which was fun.
good people. cool times. 
colin, the hollister model, is a really fly kid.

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Thursday
November 29th, 2007]

40 hours of my life became a chronicle. 
After that said amount of time with no sleep and some of the most draining experiences of my life,
i had to walk to south ferry from 14th street. it was 32 degrees. it took an hour and a half. 
at one point i was in china town and have never felt like the only caucasian in the world. and i couldn't read any of the signs, which was actually pretty cool. 
i was blue, and i was absolutely numb. 

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Wednesday
November 28th, 2007]
today has been one of those very few life impacting days.
the one with the crazy lesson. 
and where you are full aware of the change that occured.
because you can't feel the impact until you fully have the experience.
and then all that advice you got to begin with, the stuff which has been bashed over your head since childhood, in the end, will all completely make sense, and only then can you appreciate the advice,as well as the impact it has.
and sometimes wish you could have seen the answer a little earlier.
but in the end, you're changed. and wiser for it.

(2) (!^*%#^!&@!)

[Tuesday
November 27th, 2007]

December first is world aids day.
please. 
help me. 
this is so hard. i can't even begin to describe. the HARDEST it's ever been.
it's like one year later and i'm just beginning to mourn.
i need to find out more. NEED. but i learned some lifechanging things. which i will share. 
when i'm okay. 
but i got the GAP job, which equals dough. and i got a half today for only $40. 
and thanks to the AIDS speakers which graced my school, i am much more appreciative for these two small life happenings. 
there are so many "whys" i have. too many. but they are beginning to get answered. 
and it's going to be hard. but i am insatiable right now. insatiable for information about my father.
RIP daddy. 
you could have been okay.
"what if?" is the worst question ever. ever. ever. 
think of one worse. there is not one. 
so from now on i will carry on his legacy. 
that is my GOAL.

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Tuesday
November 27th, 2007]
 i got the job at the gap! this means weeerrkkk. 
for whatever reason this excites me. 
Google Alexander Imich. He's absolutely amazing. 
And it would be even better if you could read the article about him in the 11/27/07 edition of the new york times.
"One of secrets of longevity is to have a strong interest and persue it all the time." (imich)
you need something to live for.

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Monday
November 26th, 2007]
hoowwwww doooo i livveeeee wiitthhhhhhouuttttttt yoouuuu,
only here and only now, i love OS BANDITOS.

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Sunday
November 25th, 2007]
i haven't even been back for an hour and already it's back to getting down at the wag.
arlyne will be walking in in 2 seconds.
erijhgbdjhg!!!!!!!! 
i've been having interviews at the GAP in manhattan which will hopefully work out when 
OMG ARLY IS BACK  AND HER HAIR IS SOO DIFFERRERENNTJTNTNTNTNT.
anyhow, hopefully the GAP will employ me when i move to brooklyn. 
it makes me smile to think that i will be making it in new york city.

(2) (!^*%#^!&@!)

[Tuesday
November 20th, 2007]
hello! how are you?
i'm having the time of my life. 
currently the clock reads 1:43am, however, there is a party in my room in approximately twenty minutes so i need to study for this test i have tomorrow morning. from which i will pick up my quarter, and go back to aquidneck island. 
but, anyway, that's too far away to think about. 
sometimes living in zero visibility is tough stuff, except for when you're sleeping with a hollister model. 

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Saturday
November 17th, 2007]
 Last night was an eye on eyelids and moustache on finger wastedpasted party,
and my leg looks like it got completely beat up by an abusive boyfriend.
and like a neo-nazi attacked me with a sharpie.
and it was a top ten wager college night. 
god, i can't wait for these to be over, so i can replace my top ten wag nights with brooklyn.
i like to bath with my rubber ducks.
oh, but life is nothing but beautiful.
i hear arlyne typing away and she might be updating her LJ too. hello leany beany!

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Sunday
November 11th, 2007]
 it's definately happening. i'm definately moving to brooklyn in january.
so fucking excited.
and i finally got my moms support, as long as i am taking classes at brooklyn college, which i'll do i guess.
i don't even know what to say, the future is eating up my thoughts.

(1) (!^*%#^!&@!)

[Monday
November 5th, 2007]

drugs ruin friendships.

((!^*%#^!&@!)

[Saturday
November 3rd, 2007]
 wooooowww i love drawing.

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